It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize