When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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