Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
