Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize