This show inspires me to have sex in space
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
