She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
