i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
