my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it because I queefed?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
