ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
