I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
