just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
