I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize