You really coming over, don't trick.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i love accidental penises.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
