her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
