I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
