people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's blow job season.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
