one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
