Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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