I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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