She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
