yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
