I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
