You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
