I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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