it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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