YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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