Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
