I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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