i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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