That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
