I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
