dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
