$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
