Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We need to rekindle our bromance
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
