he puts the penis in happiness.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
