Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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