So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
