you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
