no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
