When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
