He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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