What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
