oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
