Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he was CRYING into my vagina
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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