I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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