I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
