Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
