and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
