They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
