Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
