He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize