are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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