3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
