Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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