I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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