But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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