you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
