there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize