I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
