Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
