We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
