I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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