ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
